Passed over… Second choice… A bridge in somebody else’s happiness… The steppingstone on somebody else’s path of life. It’s never fun or uplifting to be passed over by somebody for anything whether its a promotion, a job title, or a relationship. Being second best to anybody for any reason is not something we ever set out to be. We don’t ever set out to be used or dispensable. We aren’t wired like that. It has happened to all of us at one point or another. People can be so shortsighted and clouded by their own wills. Oftentimes we don’t take a step back to see what was going to be the best for the situation. Hindsight is as they say 20/20. But what you do when you are passed over?
I’ve been passed over for more times than I care to admit. It can make it so easy to not even want to try anymore or even put yourself out there began. Your aspirations become to be just another face in the crowd but if we are honest with ourselves, that is not what we really want. We don’t want to be just somebody’s bridge to happiness. We want to be somebody’s happiness. We want to do something that makes us feel like we have purpose. What do we do when everything we strove for, everything we have ever wanted, everything we have tried to obtain, everything that we worked for is just gone one day. We could let life just suck the joy out of us. We could let other people director are happiness and that is not a place anyone wants to be in.
We often times put so much stock in what other people think. However, I’m coming to realize that not every time that we are passed over is because we are not worthy. There are other people in the equation as well. Sure there may be some things that we need to work on. There may be some key reasons why some things didn’t work out but we cannot always take on everything upon ourselves. We cannot tear ourselves down. It’s just not worth it. Moreover, it’s not fair to yourself. This is not always easy to do but sometimes we just need to cut ourselves off from the emotion ties of the mess that has us tied down to any situation and try not to take everything so personally. Maybe some of the people we are dealing with or are in a relationship with have their own issues that they need to work out on their own. It may be because of those very issues they cannot see what a great asset or person that you could possibly be because of their own shortsightedness. We all have a selfish need to fill for the now and not the future. Sometimes people just reach that low hanging fruit. They settle. Some people can’t see beyond the today to what could be but we shouldn’t take upon ourselves that we are not worthy or worthwhile. It’s not always a you issue. Indeed, take a step back and look at the whole situation. Improve on what you can improve on and move on. But we can’t take 100% of every relationship woes, or missed opportunity upon ourselves because there are always other people in the equation and they have to be factored in.
I have been doing a lot of thinking of the people God has used in the Bible and throughout history. Oftentimes they were people who would not have been anyone’s first choice by any stretch the imagination. The Bible says God will use the foolish to confound the wise. He will use the weak to shame the strong. It also says that God will never leave us or forsake us. It is so uplifting to know that no matter how I’m feeling on any given day, no matter what I’ve been through and no matter what other people think of me, God never passed me over. I may have placed myself in certain situations where He couldn’t use me the way He wanted to. I may have even cut myself off but God never passed me over. In fact, the opposite is true. God has given me so much and I didn’t deserve it. He has given me talent, purpose, drive, and direction at times when I was lost as. He has given me a word of encouragement just the right time. Even when I felt like the world was falling around my head and I couldn’t even tell which way was up, God always seemed to find a way to get to me.
So often we attach God to His people or rather we attach God to other people’s actions as if they were doing them with God’s full approval. There been so many people have been hurt this line of thinking. People are fallible. People are flawed. People have hang-ups. Most of all, people have their own junk they’re trying to work out. Nobody’s perfect, but that does not change who God is. So the next time you are passed over by something whether it is a relationship, job, opportunity, or maybe just something that you wanted for yourself, take the time you need to grieve that loss. You have earned that much. Take time to look at it to see what you can learn from it. No experience no matter how bad is worthless as long as we can take something from it that can help us build a better future or keep us from making the same mistakes again and again and again. Own up to where you went wrong. The only way that you can learn from any mistakes or mishaps is to take full responsibility of where you came up short but when it’s over let it go. How we react to things in the past definitely steers the direction we will go in the future. Don’t let it cripple you. We are worth so much more than we ever give ourselves credit for. There are so much in us we have yet to unearth. Most of us are only scratching the surface of what God has intended for us and we haven’t even begun to unlock all the treasures God’s place in our hearts.
So often we get too wrapped up in what’s going on around us and to us that we rarely stop to see what is in us. We allow things to stunt our growth or change our direction. In the end, we are the ones who suffer the most. Don’t let other people’s opinions shape who you are. Other people can’t see the whole picture when it comes to you or me. Most people only see what is right there on the surface or what we allow them to. Even if we are open and welcoming, most of us never allow people beyond our proverbial foyer. We may have it all decorated nice and pretty, but we rarely let others see what is in the rest of the house. If these people haven’t seen all that we have to offer, all we hold inside, then their opinions should not matter as much your own or especially God’s. Other people’s opinion should not be where we obtain our value. Because God knows what He made us for. Even if we’re not entirely sure what our purpose in this life is, deep down your heart has at least an inkling of what that is. There are yearnings and soft spots our heart longs for. We can ignore them for only so long. Start taking the steps to becoming the person you were always meant to be. The one you’ve always wanted to be. Don’t give up hope. There is always hope for a better tomorrow. Every day you wake up there is hope for you to change your future. Grab it. Don’t waste it. Don’t let other people’s opinions drag you down because you were meant for so much more. Let go and let God.